Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Panic

Panic gripped the streets of Aberdeen this morning when patches of sky
took on an unusual blue colour and a ball of fire appeared above the
city.

The phenomenon, known as 'The Sun', and commonly found in Mediterranean
countries such as Greece and England, unleashed a terrifying heat and
brightness upon the city, causing many ordinary Aberdonians to tear off
their hats and scarves in mid July.

While most of the motorists were able to turn their headlights and
wipers fully off, some feared that they would be scalded or blinded by
'The Sun's'
intense radiation of heat and light.

Jack McConnell, speaking from a Sun-proof bunker lying deep under
Aberdeen's King St. urged people to be calm and return to work as
normal, stating:
"We've seen this sort of thing before, it happened once In 1945 and we
put it down to the war".

Fearing it could lead to a break out of cheerful, happy smiling he said
"Don't worry it will never last, it can't.
Our natural Siberian climate with its force 9's, ferocious chill factor
and horizontal rain will soon put pay to these shenanigans.
Aberdeen will soon be freed from this terrifying situation and we can
all return to our natural drab, downbeat selves complaining all the time
and being suspicious about everything."

No sooner had the apparition occurred, than a large, dark ominous cloud
moved in from Ellon, covering the city and efficiently blocking out the
horrible, dangerous sun.
The familiar horizontal driving rain made a welcome return and once
again the cafe's along the sea front reinstated their usual metal
shutters to protect themselves from the pounding they take as the sea
crashes down to top of them in summer.

However, it still wasn't as cold, drab or depressing as Peterhead.

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