Katy dented my nuts

The roof is nearly complete on the Log Cabin now. Ten packs of fibreglass shingles containing at least sixteen sheets. Each sheet then requires to be brushed over to remove loose material, left out in the sun to ensure it’s completely dry, the plastic film which says “DO NOT REMOVE” in five languages needs, erm, removed (don’t ask) it needs lined up to give the “rustic effect” and fixed with four nails. Now, does rustic mean that it doesn’t have to be perfect? I lined up and measured precisely the top bits before the ridge pieces had to go on and found that, had I been a little less careful to form a uniform line, then I would not have had to remove a whole line of shingles. The rain has come on now and those things need to be laid in the dry so I thought that, seeing as the number of people being introduced to my blog is growing, I should put in some more contributions.

Katy kindly picked up some donuts yesterday whilst she was out. I opened the packet today to find that they were of an inferior standard. I protested that they were not donuts but, in fact, dent-nuts. As you will see from the photo, they possess a certain concave quality. I had to eat three in a row just to make sure the taste was not impaired, during which time I managed to spill jam on my leg. This was not something I felt comfortable about as I had discovered a second wasps’ byke on the cabin earlier.

Wasps are a species I just cannot tolerate. Spiders eat things so they’re ok. Bees make honey but wasps just scare me.Very few things do, actually fill me with fear. The only other one that comes to mind right now is level crossings. I always worry that the gates will open and as I drive across, the car will conk out or get stuck on the tracks. My solution, apart from trying to avoid using them, is to drive very fast across them. I have even been known to close my eyes as I cross. Potential passengers, you have been warned.

Katy said today that seeing as I was working on a roof then there was a much bigger potential risk of falling off. I countered that, should a wasp sting me while I was on the roof then I would be more likely to fall and then may impale myself on something. That scenario would all have been triggered by the presence of the wasp so my logic wins there. Normally, when I am up heights I am not bothered as I enjoy telling people, “the ground will break your fall” I have always worked with ladders. While other children were being taught football. My father was instructing me on how to get onto roofs. Imagine if I had used this for criminal gain? The Emslie Effect would of course have intervened to ensured my speedy incarceration.

When I briefly presented a radio show back in ’94. I again encountered the fear of a small yellow and black thing. I was talking into the microphone, which was covered in a red foam pop shield, when I became aware of a buzzing sound. A wasp had entered the studio and was now only a couple of inches from my face. Trying to stay professional ( which is a contradiction as I was not being paid) I finished reading the weather forecast and got a song on as the pitch in my voice increased.